Living a Made Up Life
by nostalgiafallen
Summary: Please read.....a hermione and draco fic...don't leave! Yes I see you turning away...Its about draco trying to commit suicide but he is stopped (YAY)Please review
1. Default Chapter

**Living a Made Up life**

**Chapter One**

How is it that people can hide their feelings away from everyone else? He has hidden his true feelings for seven years; I always thought he hated me. I am Hermione Granger, he is Draco Malfoy, it started off in the morning.

FLASHBACK

The usual fight between Harry, Ron, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. It happened right after breakfast, Malfoy ran right into me knocking me clean off my feet.

"Watch it Mudblood!" he said scathingly

"You ran into her Malfoy!" yelled Harry

"Well, I had other things to pay attention to and quite frankly watching out for a Mudblood doesn't seem to make my list."

At this point I had risen from the floor, trying to make the words he'd said bounce off me but it didn't work, I felt the tears swell in my eyes and blinked back while watching Harry struggle to keep Ron back.

"Hmmm....I seem to have touched a nerve." he drawled.

I don't know why I said this but I did.

"Don't worry Ron, we all know what's going to happen, I hope you're not missing your father too much because we all know you'll be joining him in Azkaban anytime soon!"

I saw I'd gone too far when I looked into his eyes, they were full of rage. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me forward, I heard Harry and Ron struggling behind me against Crabbe and Goyle. I focused on Malfoy, scared by what he might do.

"Don't you ever say that again." he muttered, "and if you do, you will be very sorry!"

"And what would you ever be able to do to me?" I answered, but I felt I was pushing my luck. His hand clenched harder around my wrist, I looked fearfully into his eyes.

"By the look on your face......anything," he murmured. With that he let go of my wrist, I went to go back to Harry and Ron who were still struggling, but Malfoy took hold of my waist and pulled me back so that we almost nose to nose.

"What's the rush Granger hm? He asked. I tried to pull away but he was too strong, I started plummeting my free fists into his chest and before I knew it he had my arms pinned to my sides.

"Let me go, please?" I asked in what didn't mean to like a whimper.

"Mmmm no," he muttered softly, "I think we have a few issues to...let us say....sort out."

I just started to fear what exactly he wanted to sort out when he spoke again.

"First of all..... I hate my father and I will never ever be like him, second.... I've been through more than what you think I have, having to live up to a bastard father's expectations and never being able to live up to them no matter how hard you strain to make him proud!" He just stared into my eyes the whole time he spoke and I felt myself not being able to look away, "But guess what Granger, it will all be finished tonight, not that you'll be sorry really will you hm?" I wondered what he was talking about before he continued," Because to you I'm just some filthy little ferret who doesn't have a care in the world, well it over now." With that he pushed me away, turned on his heel and stormed into the dungeons. Harry and Ron came racing up to me as soon as the thugs let them through.

"What did he do to you?!" Ron demanded

"Nothing...," I said rather faintly still staring at the point where he disappeared, his words played over and over in my head, "It will all finish tonight, not that you'll be sorry."

"But what does that mean?" I asked myself out loud by mistake.

"Err...what does what mean?" Harry asked obviously confused.

"Something Malfoy said to me."

"What did he say?" questioned Ron

"It will all finish tonight, not that you'll be sorry, he said that after saying he strained to make his father proud but never succeeded." I recited

"Oh, oh" muttered Harry

"What?!" Ron and I said in unison

"Picture this, your father in jail never to get out, in there for killing your mother and sister and for pressuring you to join league with Voldemort, it'd make anyone want to-"

"Commit suicide! Oh my god we have to stop this!" I interrupted in a panic

"But we don't know when, where or how he's going to do it!" said Harry

We'll just have to keep an eye on him the whole day." Ron said reasonably

I nodded thinking that it was a pretty good plan............until dinner.

"HERMIONE!" I turned and saw Harry and Ron sprinting towards me, "We lost him." they panted

(a/n) I hope you enjoyed my first chapter, this is my first ever story so yeah, please review and give me your thoughts. My friend has gotten ten reviews and my other friend is spewing cuz she only got three so being the good coughcough friend i am PLEASE READ AND REVIEW: Give Me Reason by Cracked and Broken


	2. Chapter Two

Living a Made Up Life

Chapter 2

"HERMIONE!" I turned and saw Harry and Ron sprinting towards me, "We lost him." they panted.

"Oh great," I muttered angrily,"Okay lets split up, hopefully we'll find him in time."

I checked the library, transfiguration room, defence against the dark arts room, but he was nowhere to be found. I was about to go and search the dungeons when I saw a blood stained knife and a splatter of blood on the floor (it was enough to make me hurl) leading up to the astronomy tower. I followed the gruesome path to find something that almost made me pass out, there he was standing on the ledge of the balcony, bleeding at the wrists and looking almost wistfully at the ground below, he bent his knees and prepared to jump off.

"No!" I screamed as I ran forward and pulled the back off his shirt causing it to rip and for him to stumble backwards off the ledge and straight onto me.

"Fuck!" he muttered as he rolled off me, "What the hell are you doing here Granger?"

"Stopping you from making the worst mistake in what just may have been your short life!" I pulled out my wand and healed his bleeding wrists; he just stared at me in confusion.

"What?" I asked

"Why do you care?" he replied, "Why did you save me after all the stuff I did to you?"

"Well I guess it's because....actually I don't know why, it just seemed the right thing to do." I said pretty lamely

"Mmmm, I thought you'd be happy to see me gone." he muttered

"Not THAT type of gone." I said assuring him

H smiled slightly, but stopped when he met my eyes, I couldn't exactly see what was going on behind them so I decided to ask.

"Why were you about to do, what you were going to do?"

"What?" he replied, "Commit suicide?"

"Yeah" I said uneasily, "Why?"

"I dunno."

"There must be a reason," I persisted, "I mean you can't just decide you want to out of the blue!"

His eyes looked down trotted. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again; he did this three times before I addressed him:

"You can tell me you know, I won't tell anyone else." He stared at me for a few seconds before he spoke:

"Most people think that I have everything I've ever wanted," I silently agreed.

"But I don't, the one thing I don't have is-"

"Your own country?" He looked at me, "Sorry bad joke..." He smiled.

"No I don't have my own country but I also don't have a caring father."

"What do you mean?" I asked

He sighed again, and opened his mouth again.

"I – I – it's just-"he spluttered, "It's hard to explain."

"Well is there some way you can show me what you mean?" I asked attentively.

This made him look even more uncomfortable, he sighed again, I looked into his eyes and saw that there was a way. He reached down and took hold of his ripped shirt.

"Go on" I whispered. With that he pulled up his shirt to expose a very long deep, half healed cut that was sliced right across his chest. Without even considering what I was doing, I reached out and softly ran my fingers over it. He shivered and backed away.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "Didn't mean too."

"That's OK," he muttered,"I'm just not used to people touching me like.....like they care." He looked down and kind of shuffled his feet a bit.

"Did your father do this to you?" I whispered, once again reaching out and stroked the cut again, observing it a bit more closely.

"Yeah, before he was taken away, its taking a while to heal, anyway that wasn't the first time." he murmured.

"What do you mean?" I squeaked, surely this wasn't a usual punishment.

"Let me just say that the Cruciatus Curse doesn't have quite has much of an affect on me anymore...." he said bluntly. I felt my mouth drop open but felt no strength in order to close it again, he noticed this and lifted his hand and closed it for me, I couldn't help but blush.

"So....so your father punished you......for no reason at all, for how long?" I stammered.

"A few years, I always thought I'd done something to deserve it and then learnt how to put up with it."

I reached out and took hold of his wrist and looked at it properly for the first time, I saw healed scars across his wrist.

"This wasn't the first time you've cut them was it?" I asked questioningly

"No, whenever my father didn't come and beat me I thought that I should punish myself, so I did...." he murmured.

"But doesn't it hurt?" I asked

"Not anymore I mean, I've kinda gotten used to it."

He sat down and leaned up against the wall, I couldn't help but notice how incredibly good looking he was, no wonder Lavender goes on and on about him, I never really saw it but I do now. I sat down beside him and just stared up at the sky. I turned my attention back on him to find him with his eyes closed and a partly pained expression on his face, I reached out and laid a hand on his cheek, he opened his eyes and gazed at me through his grey/blue eyes.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

With that he leaned over to me and pressed his lips against mine.  
"No, I am, I've treated you like crap over the years because that's what my father wanted but look where that's gotten him a cell in Azkaban." he muttered, "I'll never be like him."

I kissed him again this time more deeply

"I know you won't...." I whispered

(a/n) I will be writing more stories (if you can handle it) please review


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